Uncle Dan

Jonas gets upset from Daniel's flirting with Alex at a party.

Transcript
Daniel: So... uh... Jonas and I are at our very first (Daniel momentarily adopts an odd accent) "fashion industry party". But it's weird...I dunno. They have a full bar kind of thing. But, I'm really not trying to drink anymore, 'cause of the whole... you know? (He turns to Jonas) I dunno man, what do you think?

Jonas: (raises a glass of wine) Eh...I dunno.

Daniel: Uh... yeah.

Jonas: (referencing people across the room) I think that guy is a musician, though. Over there?

Daniel: Over there?

Jonas: Yeah...

Daniel: In the white shirt?

Jonas: Yeah.

Daniel: Cool. Who is he? I wonder.

(Jonas shrugs.)

Daniel: Anyway, I feel really out of place right now. Honestly, I don't know what to do. Maybe I can talk to people. Maybe they'll get on camera.

(Cut to woman with brown hair eating finger food.)

(Cut to Jonas, standing alone in a corner of the room with a wine glass.)

(Cut to Damien, who nods in greeting to Jonas. Cut back to Jonas who appears to be staring at him before looking at the camera.)

(Cut to David, whispering in the ear of another woman before she rolls her eyes. He glances in another direction.)

(Cut to Jonas who mouths "Help me!" Jonas is standing behind Alex and Damien.)

Alex: I don't hate this.

(Cut Damien, who has moved in close to talk to Jonas.)

Damien: I think you're sexy... I wasn't...

Jonas: No, no, no, no.

Damien: He's cute!

(Cut to Alex drinking wine; David enters.)

David: Excuse me, excuse me for a moment...

(Cut to Alex and David, who is pushing her into a corner of the room where they start to argue.)

David: (Raised voice) I don't even know why I'm invited here. (unintelligible) He's 19 years old for Christ sake!

Alex: Will you keep it down maybe?

David: (to someone across the room) Excuse me.

Alex: You know what, I... I-- (Alex throws wine in David's face and walks away)

Daniel: (calling after Alex) Are you ok?...Hey.

(David stands in the corner, watching Alex walk away.)

Daniel: (walking to Jonas and handing him the camera) Dude, this sucks. Take the camera, everybody freakin' hates me.

Jonas: (pans the camera back to Daniel) Nobody hates you, man.

Daniel: Dude, I, I keep gettin'... (cut to Toby and Beth approaching)

Toby: How you doin', man?

Jonas: What's up, dude?

Toby: It's good to see you.

Jonas: Yeah, you too. This is Toby. Toby, Daniel.

Toby: We've met.

Beth: Jonas, I'm Beth. Pleasure to meet you.

Jonas: Oh!

Toby: She's uh...actually uh...a reporter for--

Jonas: Well it's nice to meet you, Beth.

Beth: It's nice to meet you too.

Daniel: I'll be back. (He walks over to Alex.)

Jonas: (While Jonas talks, we see see Daniel with Alex in the background. Daniel whispers in Alex's ear, and Alex fiddles with Daniel's jacket.) I saw this girl, she was posting videos, and my heart kinda went out to them. It's a long story. It's complicated. (Jonas zooms in on Daniel and Alex in the background, who are continuing to get friendly.)

Toby: Look, I'm gonna let you catch up with everybody. Really good to see you.

Jonas: Yeah. You too, man.

(Cut to Jonas, now alone by a mirror.)

Jonas: Dude, I'm really annoyed right now. He's totally hitting on my aunt. (cut to Daniel and Alex, talking, dancing, and flirting) I know they're just friends and all, but... that's my aunt, man, it's family! It's weird. And if they start hooking up it's going to be weird around the house. (cut back to Jonas) And she's kinda like that too, actually. I was using her computer and she left this page open, it was some dating website. It said that she was into younger guys. I think I'm going to throw up. (Jonas pauses and touches his throat.) No, it's cool, it's... (He swallows.) It went back down.

(The camera cuts and pans across various people in the room, including Daniel and Alex, who are dancing. Jonas picks up a piece of food and eats it.)

Jonas: Mmmm... That's good.

Carla: Joseph. Joseph!

Jonas: It's actually Jonas.

Carla: Oh. (She waves her hand, as if brushing away the error.) Jonas.

Jonas: It's all right, though, we just met.

(Will and Seth watch the conversation from behind, looking uncomfortable.)

Carla: You are adorable, adorable. (She takes a sip of wine.)

Jonas: Oh, thank you.

Carla: If you don't-- No, I'm not going to ask, I don't want to know.

Jonas: I'm nineteen.

Carla: You're nineteen... So I'm going to give you my room key, I've got two room keys, and I don't want you to tell your aunt...

Jonas: My friend, Daniel, I've got to find...do you have a friend, that's not my aunt, that maybe he could...

Will: Hey Jonas.

Jonas: Yeah, man?

Will: Some guy is here looking for you.

(Carla sort of half-kisses Jonas, who looks into the camera and mouths "Oh my God!")

(The camera cuts and pans across various people in the room. David drinks wine straight from the bottle.)

Jonas: So it looks like the good food's gone and... (Jonas sees he is standing next to Damien, who is sucking on a piece of chicken) Yipes.

(The camera pans across a group of people talking in the middle of the room. The clinking of glasses is heard.)

Jonas: Oh, hey! Daniel! Ummm... I think we need to go.

Daniel: (noticably drunk) No, I'm good.

Alex: Why?

Jonas: I think, no, I uh... none of that, please.

Alex: You don't need to go, why do you...

Jonas: Yeah... (He slaps Daniel on the face, gently.)

Alex: All right, well, I have some business to take care of, so...

Jonas: So we're going to leave.

(Carl walks up. The conversation gets tense, and the four of them all talk over each other for a minute.)

Carl: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what's up guys?

Jonas: Hey. Hey, man.

Carl: Hey, hey, you all right?

Daniel: Yeah.

Carl: Okay, good.

Daniel: You alright?

Carl: Yeah, I'm great, I was just wondering, ummm... (the camera cuts away for a moment.)

Jonas: Bro, I think you've got some issues.

Carl: No, man, it's just--

(Cut to Alex.)

Alex: All right, enough, enough.

Carl: Is that cool-

Jonas: No dude, listen to me.

Daniel: No, no, no-

Carl: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Alex: You guys should just go. Just go.

Daniel: What are you talking about?

Carl: Do you want to talk about something?

Alex: Jonas, I'll talk to you later!

Carl: Lets talk, no it's cool, it's cool.

Alex: (yelling) All right, enough, that's my nephew!

Jonas: Chill.

Daniel: We're leaving.

Jonas: Just chill.

Carl: Hey Daniel, it was good meeting you, though. Hey, hey Daniel, keep in touch, all right?

Jonas: Daniel, Daniel!

Daniel: Here, have your-- (He hands Alex his wine glass.)

Jonas: Daniel, Daniel--

Alex: Bye, bye, goodbye--

Carl: Come back anytime.

Daniel: Ahh, yeah...

(Cut to Daniel and Jonas standing outside on the curb. They have obviously called a cab.)

Jonas: That's a Mustang.

Daniel: You know what, I'm glad it's not a taxi. We need to go back in there. Shouldn't even...had us leave.

Jonas: I know.

Daniel: Life of the party, right? High five for that, you know it's true. (When Jonas does not respond, Daniel drunkenly takes Jonas's hand and makes it high five him.) Don't worry, I got you. There's a taxi. (He whistles.)

Jonas: And... not a cab. Nope, wrong.

Daniel: You know, you know what'd be really cool? If things work out between her and me...

Jonas: Daniel... Daniel... Daniel?

Daniel: Just, just let me finish! (looks at camera) If things worked out, I would be this fine young gentleman's...uncle!

Jonas: Oh my God, man. (Daniel laughs) Get off my shoulder. If you hook up with my aunt...

Daniel: Yeah?

Jonas: I will-I will bury both of you. No no, off the jacket. I wish you wouldn't talk about it!

Daniel: Think about it, think about it. It would be fun.

Jonas: It would not be fun, Daniel! That would not be fun.

Daniel: No, it wouldn't be fun being buried, it would be fun being your uncle. Because... Was that a cab, too?

Jonas: That's not a cab.

Daniel: Because...I could tell you what to do because...that's...I'm your uncle.

Jonas: Shovels, boxes, if all that sounds good to you man, just keep on going down this road. Just keep saying it. I don't think this cab's ever coming...man.

Daniel: That's 'cause he sucks.

Jonas: Sure does.

Daniel: Let's go back in and hang out with your aunt. She's nice.

Jonas: Dan... Daniel. I'm going to ask you something. Did you...did you make out with my aunt? Did you? Because that's crossing the line.

Daniel: Oh look, there...there's the cab.

Jonas: Daniel... Daniel. Look at me. Look! Daniel, right here! Daniel!

Daniel: (looking away) Yeah?

Jonas: Dude, did you? 'Cause if you did...

Daniel: Did...what?

Jonas: I hate you.